Friday, June 15, 2012

Bacon & the Flying Gorillan of the Emerald City

Amongst the ruins of what was once a flourishing land of cheerful helium-voiced halflings and good-aligned witches our hero, Bacon, walks the rubble of a ravaged gold stone path. He hunts for the mythical beasts of legend that once walked these floating masses of earth. His quest unfortunately proving quite fruitless as the ghosts of a famed guild haunt the air with songs of what they used to represent. Torrential twisters rip through the landscape without warning dropping debris, rubble, and even whole dwellings upon the few inhabitants that are still able to live in such harsh conditions. Our hero, however, is determined and presses onward. 
It’s a long journey as he leaves behind a bone yard that was once a vast farmland. The flesh golem that lived here had a taste for lost little girls and even their little dogs. He walked cautiously through a heavily wooded countryside that bore only the hollowed shells of felled Guardian Treants. They had once protected the now dead groves within the woods from unwanted predators before a monstrous Rune-Forged huntsman came through massacring the Guardians long ago. He even dared to enter the jungles looking for the rumored Cowardly Manticore. The Cowardly name was a misnomer, as this creature was known for tearing the overpopulated lions, tigers, and werebears of the surrounding areas limb from limb. Oh my… 
Bacon found no remaining traces of these creatures. He eventually made it all the way to the Emerald City. This place had once been known for its wonder and even more for the wizard that resided within. Our hero found only death contained by its walls. The hallowed halls of the citadel only revealed the huge emerald skull of a Beholder lying upon a colossal pedestal. The shattered remains of its temple showcased a powerful fatal blow for the wizard. Bacon had reached the end of his journey and no beasts of legend lay at his feet, his arrows buried deep in their hearts, theirs heads as his trophies… The time to ponder the true vastness of these wastelands was interrupted as a swarm of the fabled flying imps minions of a long forgotten evil queen came shattering through the dilapidated stained glass murals that lined the walls of the Emerald Wizard’s chambers. 
At last, a fight! The swarm was quickly reduced to a pile of pain-riddled screeches and blood soaked feathers that twisted to the ground. It was a lackluster battle to say the least… Bacon didn’t even take the time to pull his arrows from the corpses. These creatures were not trophies, however, the sudden appearance of the gargantuan Flying Gorillan that came crashing through the emerald adorned cathedral ceiling above was. It slammed into the wizard’s pedestal and easily hefted the giant skull above its head, lobbing it at the skilled archer. Bacon narrowly dodged the barreling object as it burst through a wall. He watched as the wizard disappeared over the cliffs outside into the swirling vortexes below. The crushing force from behind told our hero that the Gorillan had rushed him sending them both cannon balling into the vortex. The deafening roars erupting from the ape’s throat and the current of air blasting past Bacon’s ears clouded his reactions. The tiny wings hanging out the back of the four-armed monster’s vest began to flap and somehow lift his massive form into the air as he let go of Bacon dropping him into a freefall. He managed to only just grab the beast’s tail and hand-over-hand climbed onto the Gorillan’s back. He grappled the last remaining arrow from his quiver, pulled his bow taut and loosed it into the beast’s fez. The arrowhead jutting from it’s massive gaping maul. The life flickered from its eyes and both hero and trophy-kill plummeted towards the vortex. The Gorillan, with its last bit of ability, pulled a small emerald stone from the inside pocket of it’s vest and with a blinding green light Bacon and the ape vanished.
Bacon awoke to a high-pitched ring in his ears over the muffled explosions of screams and cheers. The Gorillan’s lifeless body lay beside him as he rose to his feet. The nearby scene came into focus. He was in a coliseum; the jeers were erupting from the throats of thousands of spectators. He soon realized he was at center stage and before him sat a striking, black-haired, and jade-skinned elven queen upon a beautiful emerald throne perched atop the mass of a noble Manticore. It’s ever vigilante gaze upon Bacon and beneath its right paw, the wizard’s skull. The queen stood and the roar of the audience immediately ceased. She raised her scepter and stamped it at her feet. A gate behind Bacon slowly creaked open and the hulking shape of a flesh golem clamored out. Bacon stared at the monstrosity as he knelt down and ripped the arrow from the dead Gorillan’s brain. He pulled his bowstring back and the golem lurched forward with its mouth wide open. The souls of a hundred little girls screaming at once erupted forth. Bacon smirked, ready to make room for a new trophy.

- Enjoy


  1. Welcome Bacon (Stewart)! I know it took forever and I hope it was worth the wait.

    1. Oh it was. I am proud to be among the Minionized warriors, and you guys were missing someone to cover your asses when things go tits up. Thanks a lot Biscuit