Saturday, October 15, 2011

Mystery Meat & Franz and Steen's Monster

Ever since they were children Franz and Steen Eevahldoer dreamt they would hit it big in the evil alchemist community. Thirty years later Steen's head is floating magically in a jar, a story for a later time, and his brother Franz is in the middle of being ripped apart by their latest creation. The world is a funny place, ya know? One minute your stitching together a random assortment of orc bits and serving up a lightning-defibrillated heartbeat to said meat pile and the next minute that soulless bastard is going ape-shit over a questionable and over-enthused hug from the beasties own creator. Welcome to the family indeed. After tearing into and snarfing down some of the fleshy appetizer the creature is ready for the main course and the nearby village is looking quite suitable for the part.

Its a good thing Mystery Meat just happened to be strolling through the area after a successful exorcism of an evil haunted hayride. The problem with exorcisms is they generally don't meet your bloodlust quota as far as monumental battles go. Sure, there is plenty of projectile vomiting on hand but that is all clean-up and no fun. Luckily for Mystery Meat Mr. Orc-enstein just stepped into line. With his trusted trident at his side he traded a few well placed blows with the beast. Eventually widdling the monster down by tearing open his stitchings until only the monster's reanimated head remained, all the while chomping and snarling at Mystery Meat's fingers as he lifted it up by the small tuft of hair atop it's scalp.

Mystery Meat strolled out of town looking forward to the next adventure that will inevitably come along but not before making a well placed shot with the monster's head from the free throw line right into Steen's jar.

- Enjoy


  1. Is, "Oh, man! This one is my favorite so far!" getting old yet?

  2. I'm with Mik on this one. The Minions are getting more and more badass with each update

  3. We are more badass than you could possibly imagine, we just have to reveal it gradually so as to not blow your mind!